grief

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Claws of Water

Icy wretched pain
Radiating from within,
Why does it persists?

With the glow of agony
Claws of water tear the eyes.

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The Beast

Betrayal, deceit,

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The heart of the beast above.
Rage and denial,
Spews from her foul acrid mouth.

She sits in the smog, alone.

-Hunter Coch


Feel

I don’t feel like a man
I don’t feel like a person
I don’t feel like a human
I don’t feel like I belong
I don’t feel worthy

I feel worthless


Awake

I awoke to find self loathing,
A spark of death in my heart.

I awoke to swimming despair,
A drop heartache in an ocean.

I awoke to the light fading,
And the hurt expanding by leagues.

I awoke to a new emptiness,
That’s as old as my age of existence.

I awoke to the pains I’ve caused
To an undeserving heart.

I awoke to a moonless night
The stars no longer speak.


Bleeding (Censored)

I’m falling,

Falling from the mountains of emotion,

Falling from the epic climb up cliffs and peaks.

I can smell piss,

It permeates the house and carpet,

It lives in the furniture, I clean and the next week returns.

I’m lonely,

Living day to day with minimal adult interaction,

Living in a house but unable to make it a home.

I crave,

Longing for the inebriation and sweet forgetfulness of spirits,

Longing for times when the weight is still there, but considerably less.

I’m tired,

Sleep comes in short bursts and then poor in quality,

Sleep brings good dreams, the only reprieve.

I cry,

Tears in the early morning, before the sun rises,

Tears of self pity, emptiness, and loss.

I’m nauseated,

Puke is always at the point of expulsion,

Puke is always fought back down, no time for that.

I’m sad,

Saddened by the mental incapacity of the father,

Saddened by the hurt I’ve caused the ones I love.

I exist,

Only by the will and strength of diapers both young and old,

Only for the love given and the smiles of my children.

I live.


She Waits

Above sand and sea

Seeking her desires arms.

Below cloudy skies

Awaits this overcast heart.

 

Waves crash upon stone,

The mist kiss her lonely lips.

But she stands alone

Remembering sunny days.

 

Above sand and sea

Awaiting her lovers touch.

Below cloudy skies

She adds to ocean waters.

 

Waves crash upon stone,

The lighthouse shines its warning.

But she stands alone

Between her hope and the truth:

 

Her ship, never will return.