Novel Update #1: Alien Fields

I finally have a working title for the book, Alien Fields. This may not be the final title, however it’s working for me at the moment.

This whole project has become much more ambitious than originally intended as the world around the story grew, my notes have gone from a few scribblings to no less than a large appendices with its own six hundred sixty-eight day calendar and custom zodiac.

My progress is slow, but the primary text is complete. Currently I’m working on the second draft and playing with some style details.

I no longer see having a finished product by the end of January as feasible, however if you’re interested in being a beta-reader, when we reach that stage, please let me know.

#NaNoWriMo, I Failed yet I still Win

Well I didn’t make it to 50,000 words my the end of November, so I failed at #NaNoWriMo this year. However it’s not a complete loss. The reasons for my failure were:

1. I got distracted by life. Seriously, who decided national novel-writing month would be November? Though that’s just me making excuses. I realize that #NaNoWriMo is a world event and should not be hindered by American holidays. I can still bitch though.

2. This is the biggie. My novel actually concluded itself at around 40,000 words. The natural progression of the words I had written led to an early ending.

Now, this does not mean I will abandon the novel. I believe a lot that was written has potential and the story entertains me. So I will continue to work at it and I’m glad to say progress is being made; currently I’m working on the second draft using yWriter5. I hope to have a finished product by the end of January.

I plan to post a plot and cultural synopsis soon, but for now I will tell you that it’s a sci-fi coming of age story that borders on the slipstream genre with many fantasy elements throughout.


Halfway Through #NaNoWriMo

I’ve reached the halfway point in my NaNoWriMo novel, no quitting now. Here’s another excerpt to celebrate. Again please note this is a raw and unedited first draft, so please forgive any mistakes, misspellings, and dyslexic moments. Enjoy:

We kept to the night, to keep out of sight of the raiders and the sun. Phobos lit our way with what little light he provided. The way was filled with the black and gold dunes, that were common in the Arabia, though these were smaller than the giant dunes of the eastern desert of the stories of old. So we walked carefully on the ridges, keeping care of our footing, knowing to fall into a dune valley could spell disaster by entrapment, quicksand, or many other fates un-thought of. We camped when the sun was up, using canvas for shade and skins for bedding. We traveled mainly in silence as the desert air carries sound.

And though the night was our day and slowed the consumption of water, the supply was slowly dwindling. So we watched an listened for the roving thieves perhaps to raid the raiders. As luck would have it the neighing of a horse sounded from north-east of us.

From up top a dune we spied down with the rifles scope on a small plane of rock. A small group of five camped near the foot of a dune around a small fire by what looked like a well, the horses tied to a porous boulder, barred a blue sash with a red snake.

“I don’t feel right just attacking,” I whispered.

“I understand,” was her reply.

“A test of character?”

She responded with an acquisitive look.

“A helpless woman lost in the desert, stumbles down a dune,” I added.

She almost let out a laugh of excitement, then took the plunge with a scream of the stereotypical female victim.

Her fall was an act on par with the greatest of actors. The fall and stumble down the sand was chaotic and deadly to those who’ve never seen Miki in action. Each tumble was an act of grace in chaotic form.  When she reached the bottom she removed the katana, sticking it in the sand with her hand still berried, grasped to the hilt.

I moved the scope to follow the five men. They were up and moving towards Miki’s still body. The walked without care or concern. I saw and heard the men laughing, some spoke but I was too far to make out words.

At Miki one bent down and checked for a pulse; a good sign, the only one. He slapped her face and said something. Another raider went to one of the horses, removing a roll of rope. When I returned my site to the rest, they were all circled, looking down at her. The man who knelt cupped Miki’s right breast; bad move pal.

I put my finger on the trigger.

Then the man with the rope returned.

Another man kicked Miki gently and started caressing her. Anger filled me. I decided to take the initiative, and pulled the trigger on the caressing man. The thunder of the rifle carried in the air as the bullet landed in my target. He fell back to the ground and twisted. The others jumped back in surprise.

Miki jumped up spinning and tossing the sand that hid her weapon in all directions; blinding one. Two were running back to the camp. Miki sliced down on the one that fondled her, removing the offending hand, then twisted up slicing open his belly, disemboweling the raider.

I moved back to the fleeing two, finding them at the horses; one removing a rifle the other a pair of blades. I lined the cross hairs on the one with the rifle; triggered pulled. He fell back into one of the horses and sadly the horse fell too.

Sites back to Miki, her last opponent headless, she rushed the bladed man who was rushing her. They collided with the mans blades slicing down, Miki blocked, spun with the blue-black blade digging deep into the raiders spine.

With that I slid down the dune.

We plundered the bodies, refilled our supply of water and stole the four living horses. Good, well bred desert horses. We rode off back into the dunes silent and fast.


#NaNoWriMo and the big 10,000 update.

I promised my self I’d do a blog post when I hit the 10,000 word mark for NaNoWriMo. So not to distract me too much I’m just going to copy and paste a small part here. Please keep in mind this is completely raw unedited and prone to dyslexic moments (that does not just mean mis-spellings). I hope you enjoy this small moment:

I die.

I sit lotus in black void and soon the stars begin to pierce. The expanse is forever and time is without meaning. A cosmic loneliness settles into my being. In this vast expanse nothingness is forever. Ages crept. Motion is without meaning but shapes come into view; a small sun shines, a world is below.

I am exposed within eternity.
Cities shine in it’s dark side in webs of light with vast oceans.
I am another world, smaller and barren, and made of Iron. I can feel the fear from below as knowledge of death settles. Escape is an option.

Small jets of light and smoke flee into the void, heading towards hope closer to the sun. Repeatedly they make good an escape. I approach slowly.

I am the coming extinction.

I am Thánatos, my mother is Nyx.

I come because it is time.

I am Śiva the destroyer and transformer.

I come because I must.

Two worlds become one. We are consumed by fire in holy unity. Two souls becoming one in a transmutation from the passion of our joining.

From our ecstasy comes death.

From our two bodies comes one.

Our friction is the fire that consumes and this fire lasts for an age. But we are no longer we; now a new me. A once living, now dead world with two awkward moons.

I am more.

I am a fertile egg waiting for the seed of life that comes from my sister.

Eons pass.

Eventually the seed comes. Life begins again.

You can also find another NaNoWriMo excerpt here.

Stream of Consciousness: A Dark Day

An enlightened night brought dreams of dark days under the desert sun. Times do not come when called, and the thirst builds to an apex of desire. Ride the sand, the reaper instructs. And a dance is summoned; my feat fly to the inviable song. Spots jump in my eyes. A scream is called from parched lungs. Death.

Serial: The Lotus and the Rose, Chapter 5

Lotus and the Rose
Chapter 5, Purity and the Snake

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

The day begins with internal silence. This morning I’m animated, feeling healthy. My mind is a jumble, and usually this is quite normal; this dawn is no different. The voice isn’t there, no whispers, no screams, only me and the happy silence ling in bed with my love. I hurt, but its that good pain.

Waking up ( . . . please no).

Eyes open, no longer in sleep. A spiders web directly above, no arachnid, no proprietor attached, clinging to no walls, a strand of silk floating in the still air a specter haunting or a ghostly snake slithering across the still air, stalking the innocent mouse; perhaps a trail of smoke from sacred frankincense. Yes, a snake; its tail lost somewhere in its sentience. Life seemed to eminate from the shifty creature as it levitates into a sly dance on the slight draft of my open door; teasing and intoxicating, lingering and laughing, seducing the space around my being and trying to weave its way into my thoughts (no). Again it tries, phasing in and out of my reality, folding the space it occupies. Continue: In my head and out again (no). Again it tries, hissing and screaming, pleading for this young mind to accept it in (no). “Please no,” then stop; silence, and a seeping pain in my being.

“No . . .” The voice returns like the silent sound of an echo escaped from the origin. Th echo falling back to the ether until silence was, once again.

A sad disappointment emanates as the snake levitates into the darkest corner of my room. It disappears into a shadowy corner (vortex). A light flashes. Confusion.

I get up.


Her face and body buried in pillow and blanket; still asleep in deep dreams, bare back dry to the touch and smooth, it rises and lowers; her breath in harmony with her heart, her heart in sequence to the clock. The clock seas sin . . . no six in the morning, by mind seas high noon; my corps has had its time to be rested. The clock is correct.

Stepping outside I saw no sun. A thick fog sheets the streets. Awesome is the fresh, brisk air; the river scent still hangs.

The fog lingered and waited and watched.

Shivers shook my spine. The damp cold touched my skin. Dim light shone in a glow through the ground layer clouds. I stood still feeling the uncontrolled rattle of my body; stop, stretch; my back, shoulders, and a few joints popped to my pleasure.

Back inside. kind-of dark; no lights were on and the blinds are shut. Apples and oranges and bananas all rotted in a basket on the partition. The neighbor baby is crying, odd; they have no baby. Mrs. Black, nice old lady; she always makes lemon pie and usually shares. That’s where the sound was coming from. Probably just a grand child.

I need a shower.

A diamond back rattler shedding it’s skin, a mammal in spring loosing its winter coat, as I am naked, exposed; not for sex but to cleanse.

The knobs are cold; the sound of the artificial rain, water falling, skin preparing for the for the wonderful feeling of searing , stimulating pain.

Stepping into the stream of water, almost burns the skin; just the way I like it. Ten thousand beads lash my skin and flow down the invisible fissures of my back, wetting me. The liquid deluge pours over me, breaking off impurities, rinsing away the stench of last nights ecstasy. Steam blankets bathroom as the rolling fog outside, everything is blurred, my mind id a cloud [small stumbles and quick steps] . . . vertigo.


Washing with soap. The bottle squeezed, ectoplasm essence lathers my body. Soft movements of slithering liquid, traveling droplets at war with the filth. I am becoming; clean. Sharp pain from the wounds. One weary traveler snakes his way down; a forest it finds, deep and thick; the traveler dispersed, never to be seen again.

Dried blood is being removed my wounds sterilized. The rushing water removes the soap. My hare is wet [hands run through then fall to the side, face looking down to the tiles]. Water, milky and pink, it coils, falling and dragged to the dark vortex.

Standing motionless, five minuets pass.

The heat is poison passing through the heart, weakening; the cold is an antibody that returns vitality.

Move [head lifts].

Water still pouring, then the temperature alters. I turn the shower off. Knobs hot. I feel faint.

“You still in there” She asks.

I remove my-self and dry. “Yea, be out in a sec”.

Towel wrapped around my waist, I open the door. “Love?” My hand on her hip, pulling her close for a kiss, “no hot water”.
“Thanks”, she replies. Sarcasm? “I like cold showers”, without deceit. A smile on her lips, her hand to my cheek, peck on the lips, removed then into the bathroom; door shuts behind along with her contact except for a touch of spirit left by her kiss and a shot of energy from her to me. I stand for a minuet with my back to the door, probably less.

I smile.

I move to the kitchen.

I cook breakfast.

Serial: The Lotus and the Rose, Chapter 3

Chapter #3
Damned by Divine Wisdom

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

I am a seeker on walkabout, on a journey through vast lands of beautiful groves, hidden cities, and burning furnaces, whose keepers feed the vortex fires.

I stand at the edge of a valley blanketed with high thick grass and yellow patches of mustard; everything moist with mornings dew. Scattered oak trees twisted and sublime spot the nest. At the center stands the largest and oldest of the ancient oaks; tall and grand. In its shade shimmers a still pond of pure water, fresh as if it just fell from the heavens, tall reeds at an edge.

On a bank, still but not stagnant, a log lays, half submerged in purity, twisted, sublime and wise. That twisted old log by the pure pond, resting in the shade of the king of trees sits an old woman drinking from the pool with cupped hands.

I now stand in the center of the valley, a distance of hours to walk, in a blink. A single bird sings his song, insects buzz in the distance; me and the old woman an audience. She splashes cool water on her face and with a look in my eyes and a sweet smile on her lips, a flute is raised by her liver spotted hands then she adds to natures melody. Chirp sings the bird and the insects chime in time, out of the void the womans flute begins and brings the harmony of natures voice. The old woman, in gypsy like rags, sits cross-legged on the twisted log, her eyes closed, her instrument begins an ancient tune.

“I want to see,” I say, “I want to listen to the harmony that can be between humanity and nature”. I feel the need to learn the way that may be, but is not. I want to learn from the old woman, hair of long silver strands, sitting cross-legged on the twisted log, in the shade of the king oak, by the pond of the pure water, ancient, sublime.

She smiles with glee, not loosing step with the song.

As the melody transpires, as the woman puts her breath into the song, I sit listening to the play between the musicians, the harmony of humanity and nature, nature and humanity, beast and beast, life to life and back again; to add more wonder to this magnificent setting the stage changes. The valley grows dark; filled and shaded by redwood trees growing high above low-lying ferns. Darkness consumes but not the darkness of night but a cool shade in a thick forest. The ground grassless with mulch, mud and mushrooms.

The melody never stopped but is in harmony with the metamorphosis of the habitat. The bird still sings, the bugs still buzz, the lady still plays by the pond under the old oak.

I look to the canopy, fog swims through the branches above, but no motion is felt. The leaves move, but without a breeze. They move with intention. Butterflies; ten thousand. They hold in clusters to the branches and groups; individuals flutter from bunch to bunch; ten thousand butter flies to a cluster with ten thousand clusters; truthfully uncountable.

Continuing metamorphosis: a sharp scent invades, the air dries, mud and mulch turn to dry hard dirt. Redwoods no longer; eucalyptus.

The monarch butterflies, flutter high and flutter by; a dance in the air to melody performed by flute and chirp, chirp and buzz then stop.


A single sound interrupts, like solid wood against hollow. Another strike, then another. Three strikes and a stomp. Across the pond the woman stood still in gypsy like rags but no longer old, beautiful and lithe, mischievous appearance, mischievous smile, in a sultry stance and a naked leg stretched from beneath the colored rags, flute to her full lips.

Strike; Strike; Strike; with each strike she stepped, steppes, stepping and to the end of her stomps the strikes begin again, each faster than the last, and each step of hers becoming a hard dance on the dirt floor. Each beat faster in the rhythm of passions spirit and in step with the percussions heart. No longer the harmony of nature but passions of the wild and she plays her flute in step with her wild dace to the beat of the invisible percussionist.

The pond was still and clean; air filled with the dry stinging scent of eucalyptus; the king oak proud, watching. The beat continued, the song quickened, and she danced and shipped and the air was saturated with butterflies fluttering by and dancing in tune with the music. The woman skipped, her bare feet kicking up the dry earth into clouds that caught the rays of the hot sun as the monarchs fluttered through.

I am surrounded by fire.

All became silent.

Then a kind womans voice said, “when you awake, run to the western mountains, though the mountains wont hide you . . . Seek the cave that’s shelters the adversary”.

Butterflies flutter by and around and around and around as the voice fades into memory; bright orange and black merge into streaking flames. Hot is the dust and wind in my lungs and it consumes my being. Floating in the vortex of flame searing flesh and burning hair. For only a moment within a moment, found in the flying flames, like the burning bush, floats a face. Its eyes hot with passion and malice and pleasure for my agony. It smiles with ash and smoke and embers of the deconstructed.

Some nights I sit alone thinking of existence and experiencing loneliness as only pond lilies and the sages do. Other nights I go out, socialize and play with great excitement and joy, injecting myself in to the hole of the moment. Now I am an infant ant the point of birth.


I see the chaos, the chaos takes me.

I am naked.

Bright flames, an iridescent shell. I am the fetus within; hunched over, exposed and protected. All dark and comforting, but a light is calling me.

I am born.

I am awake; naked, wet, bald and exposed. Under a glaring sun, on hot asphalt.

A frightened voice to my right, curses and the sound of feet running away.

In the sky, high above, orange and black butterflies rise.

Coyote corpses littered the ground around my nakedness. Sirens sounded in the distance. Sitting up a ghastly sight welcomed me. Crucified on the cliff-side was D. His insides piles the ground below his limp legs; vivisected.

Many running feet heading this way.

Serial: The Lotus and the Rose, Chapter 2

Chapter 2: In the Autumn of Apathy

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

A loud voice came to me one day like the sound of waves crashing on a midnight beach; it was born a whisper in the morning light, now it’s later, near midnight. I was sitting alone writing; young and living. My body ached. Alone is all I know, empty inside, just writing and waiting. Apathy fills me, all I see is the emptiness in the words.

I am naked. The smell of hormones burned on this bare body. Awake after the physical representation of love, sex, copulation, pleasantly violent, bleeding scratches on my hips, expression of my inner aggression and sexual gratification, I just enjoyed. An arm reaches around and grasps my upper chest. Her hair floats against my skin, as ten-thousand webs would wander through the nameless void. It feels good.

“What are you doing?”

“Writing”, I can feel her soft nipple on my back. Lips, tender, brush the back of my neck (that special spot). Eyes close, I can feel her soul.

A moth rests on a white wall.

“come back to bed.” She bites hard, on that spot bordering my shoulders on the right side of my lower neck, almost breaking skin [extention].


A hand clenched on my cock [harder], leaving the story on the floor, hardly dry from the last engagement.

Picking her up, skin so soft, and taking her to the mattress; a quick toss and she’s down with a bounce. The bed screams with a squeak, the energy of the collision is stored for a moment in the metal springs, then released causing a leap back; metal on metal, the voice of the inanimate. She giggles. I follow her; she pushes me off. Her foot leaves a trace on my chest.

Now the fun begins.

Lunging in counter offense, her arms are mine, now pinned to the sheets. A tan breast my lips encircles ((lower) go lower), a naval, then to the side, ((kiss) a kiss), soft flesh, a hate-filled bite (Hate?). The bite feels good, the flesh broken under my teeth, moans from outside my, maybe a scream, perception; I don’t care, blood in my mouth, just a little bit.

Am I alone?

The voice gets louder (at noon it grew to maturity).

I release her arms, I go down, lower to her pleasure. Minuets later she grabs my hair; it hurts. Yanked to her face, a sweet kiss, it’s hard and bonding, then slow and soft as she pushes my chest with both her hands, her fluid still on my lips; i’m thrown against the wall.

The night is cold, I’m warm. Scent of the river fills the air and a nightingale spins a sorrowful sonnet and the screech of an owl prevents its conclusion.

“Fuck” (moan).

“Did it hurt?” She whispers, a smirk on her lips, and hint of euphoria.

“It hurt good” I reply and she laughs. She goes down. She bites my inner thigh . . . twice, soon after a third.


An insincere statement, “you don’t have to do that.” She didn’t stop, and I didn’t stop her. It feels good; crest to neck to base and back again.


It’s late, long past the witching hour. The voice is louder, an ancient entity, a boom in my head. I can’t make out the words, jumbled & incoherent, like a young child rambling about a subject only he understands.

She releases with a gasp of air, pushes me down, puts me inside her; crest to neck, neck to base and back again.

She rides.

I thrust.


Her side’s still bleeding, I can feel the blood on my hands, or is it sweat. Blood. My eyes are shut (all too soon, we are at passions point). Picking her up, i’m still inside her, her legs wrapped around my body. We fall to the floor I stay inside her (fuck harder), she starts screaming and moaning and harsh breathing.

The voice has stopped.

She climaxes.

I cum.

The neighborhood is quiet. She rests. I’m still inside her, both of us still bleeding. Not a care.

Alone is all I knew.

I feel empty.

I love her.

“I love you”, she seas in perfect conjunction with my thought.

The moth on the wall crawls to a high corner, now in shadow.

And this is only the beginning . . .

Fire above crowns,

Warming social emotion,

Steel mushroom towers;

It’s cold, but the coat warms.  The ambiance is natural; a pond full of koi, potted plants provide a place for private conversation. The smell is pure, but for the cigarette smoke from all around. The inside cafe opens to the outside patio. Lighting is dim for a mysterious or romantic setting. The cafe gives that nineteen twenties impression. Beatniks & bohemians recite poetry and trade in philosophy. Malevolent characters seat themselves in corners, speaking of things unheard and conspiracies not proven. Like a film noir, the characters at play on this strange stage, tormented by subconscious guilt, sit, some in sinister silence, glowering, waiting fore a chance.

Trees in soiled pots,

Life – death waxing now waning,

Cafe under moon;

I’m sitting.

The poet recites from inside on a small corner stage. Coffee is served by an attractive waitress. Thanking her and sipping the hot beverage, I’m board and they’re late.

Hey,” she said.

“How are you,” remembering she serves me regularly.

“Your sitting alone?” She asked.

“Waiting for some friends,” I stated.

“OK,” she responded, “It seems like your always waiting for someone.”

“It does seem that way, doesn’t it?”

“Who you waiting for?” continuing, but before I answer she’s called away to serve another.

A moth flutters from a tree, my conciseness follows.

Two lovers meet,

Beneath the dimming lights,

Between the two trees;

As I follow the flying messenger I saw her . . . Laughing and walking with mutual friends towards the table ware I sit by the swimming carp and under the tall potted trees. Kerry Heart pointed and waved to me, Biggs did the same. All three walked to the table, but my eyes followed the unknown woman.

They sat down, pulling out the steel chairs with friendly greetings and warm introductions for me and my desire.

“This is Sarah Klein,” said the fiery Kerry Heart with the multi blue and spiky hare, “Sarah, this is my good friend . . .”

We are blind to all others, dark eyes, olive skin, black and brown naturally curly hair to her breasts held by a black silk corset. A flowing dark dress fell to her feet. Here is your love sings in my mind.

Two hearts burn this night at the small cafe off the main street.

Status Update #4 (Serial, introduction)

As you may have seen the first chapter of my serial is up, you can find it here or download it here (PDF).  I’ve put allot of work into this story and I really hope you like it, and if you do please pass it around. Also any questions or comments regarding the story are welcome and appreciated. My goal after “The Lotus and the Rose” is finished is to have it published (on my terms).

Introducing the Lotus and the Rose is extremely difficult (so I wont bother). I will say this though, it falls outside a typical genre mould (though I believe it would fall under slipstream).  I feel the story and the art really speaks for itself.

Again, I hope you enjoy.


Serial: The Lotus and the Rose, Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Wild, Walking, and the Wakening Wisdom

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

One step, then a second and many more until the count is lost and conversation begins. It’s dusk, and the sky blends from the eastern blackish blue to a light lavender, orange, and reds, beginning with the western sun hiding behind the shadowed hills and slowly setting into the unseen horizon. A trail snakes it’s way through nature, skinned in black asphalt; calm, pretty, to be pitied; the river in parallel will consume the black snake in days, weeks, months, or years from now.

“Ware’re we going? D asked.

“To the old farmhouse,” I replied.


“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“You’ll think I’m crazy.”

“I already think that,” Stated D, “So, why are we going to the old farm house?”

“I feel I was called,” I replied self-consciously.

“Your a nut,” he said, “but it’s always an adventure when you say those things . . . you like her don’t you?”

“Last night,” I answered, “was amazing, I love her, D.”

A star lights in the sky, the first star I see, or is it Venus shining alone; we are never alone.

“How do you know?” Asked D.

Alone is all I know “I don’t know”, I answered with sadness as we walked, walk, walking, walking and dream, dreaming, dreaming and talk, talking, talking, until Nyx finished blanketing of the sky. A soft caress of of cold, the sweet perfume of the damp air, and ten thousand points of light in the sky above, as apposed to the lights below; little points on the banks of the slow moving river.

A white fox crosses the path. A path black as pitch, dry poison for an easy trek.

One, two, three and four, five, six and seven, eight, and nine lights in the sky and countless more to count and connect; making patterns in chaos that represent emotions, our ways, and heroes lost in perceived time. We idealize the stars and look to the sky when we should look within. Of all the stars and lights inside our beings, Venus alway stands out and sits alone.

“To me, she’s the only one to stand out in a sky of countless choices.”

“What makes her standout? Out of every person you’ve ever fucked, out of every one-night-stand, every person on the streets, why her?”

“She’s unperdictable; one moment a beautiful embrace, the next a hateful glare from across the room; she is chaos.”

“But others are chaos, others fuck the same, love the same, and others that have the same fire.”

Why is her fire special? To the sky my eyes wander to Venus; alone but why special? Eyes move to the seven sisters, but count only six; one hidden, the unnamed sister, “It’s unknown”, I’ll call it Sophia, “that’s the only way to explain it”.

“Better than nothing,” replies D.

Silence in the air, no sent, sound or motion; “this area is death”. One step brought us in and another took us out. A nightingale sings an excess of notes, some have said it waists its breath and song and looses its words, but how can a song be waisted and words lost when everything is the word. The song fades, distance increases, pase decreases.

Seemingly endless, narrow, and winding its way through the river valley; trail on cliff, to an small neighborhood, down a hill and up again to the edge of water. Fluid conversations in motion with the harmony of conflicts against the eroding stone and fallen trees of floods long past. Across the snaking, near waterless river, a pack of coyotes laugh at us. Hungry and slaves to that hunger.

The river is no boundary for the commands of starvation and blood lust.

“D?” I ask in near panic.


“Across the river.”

D curses, we run, and they in pursuit. Smirking with jaws frothing, a hint of euphoria in the laughter; howling and yelping and barking and running, as we run and run and run. Each step for us was three steps across the river for them. The beasts are bound to overtake our overly exhausted pace. No counting those behind, but one blocked out path ahead.

“Damn it.”

To the left a sheer sand stone cliff, high and imposable to climb. To the right the river to slow us down.

Dew is now frost, cold is the air. Hot are our bodies sweating adrenalin; I feel no pain, I am alone. D at my heels and a coyote lunging for my jugular. [Arm raised] A successful block, but the pursuit ends now with the clenching jaws tearing at my arm, however protected with a thick leather cote. The extra weight drags me to a stop.

D climbs a tree, kicking the predator while ascending.

The pack is on us; no me. Two jumping and snapping and laughing around D’s tree; many more attacked me, a shameful cry came from D, but I’m glad he’s safe. Jaws on my legs, pants torn; teeth on my arm, jacket pierced; two more pulling me down by the back of my jacket, many more circled waiting for my fall. Panic was coming to me. Mad fright of death coming.

Another coyote lunged and jumped. Everything got slower. A peaceful anger burned within and the eye inside opened. Passion was within. Thoughtless passion is the way of the body, and body is the way of the animal. I am animal. I was of the beast, but I am bigger. The purifying pain of pierced flesh. The flying coyote in perceived slow motion, knocked down to the asphalt by my free arm, crunching bone is heard over the laughing.

Grasping the neck of the dog latched on my arm, pulling him closer, while pushing with the arm he held. Skin rips, and the pain shoots, the animal squirms in panic as his jaw dislocates with a yelp of his surprise and agony. Released. He runs his jaw flapping, two follow, most likley to consume in cannibalistic need. It makes me sad.

Pain from my thigh, torn flesh and exposed bone. Fist to K-9 face, a wine with my blood flying from the wound to the black top; dead dog lying next.

Then three more on me. A whence from D’s tree. Then two more. I’m overwhelmed. I can feel the bites and the tears. Force of will depleting. But I’m still stronger. Grabbing the closest, it’s slammed against the sandstone face, his bones break, and his neck snaps, falling limp to the ground. These animals are not apart of this world, the natural coyote does not attack people.

The endless struggle continues, but for each one that falls two more take its place. Soon I’m pulled to the the ground. Blood is lost, and vertigo sends me falling. Force of will gone, the perception of time slows further.

A voice: “Do you like solitude?”

“What?” I ask of the voice.

“Do you like being alone?” Agony jets through my body like nothing before; migraine and melancholy fester as a boiling ooze.

“Who are you?” Deep inside I knew her.

“Answer my question.”

“Yes,” I answer. “Now answer mine.”

“I am the hell that will save you.”

“I don’t want your help.”

“Why would you refuse me?” Time seemed motionless, my blood was not flowing; the coyotes latch in the morbid feast, stuck. But just as time seemed to be motionless, frozen is this fork on my path; but I have an iron will and my soul burns with the black flame.

“Leave . . . me . . . alone . . . ” I didn’t think I could refuse but I did.

New strength came.

Both hands grasped the closest coyote and in-caved her eyes and pushed into the brain; dead. Grabbed the ears of another and tore them off; ran away yelping. The one tearing at my thigh I crushed in a role, snapping its neck. And more and more came, an unnatural swarm. With each one dead, again two more came. No clothing was left untorn; no skin was left unstained by my blood. Another coyote dead, strangled by my hands, but more came rending and tearing. And more blood is lost. I continue to kill. The more that died the more life I felt.

I can feel it in my arms, life draining from the dieing dogs. Life rising into mine. Life fron animal to human. Life drawn towards life. Life slithers from the beast to mine; I don’t want it, but it forces it’s way. This was the purpose,  not to kill but to bring me to a savage ectacy. I don’t want it, but it compels me.

Another coyote in my fingers , slowly strangled. His eyes are awesome, deep almost human, sad and in pain; don’t die. Too late. These creatures of night time stalking are natural, however being controlled by a malevolent force. Please son’t die. Too late.

Limp . . . empty . . . dead . . . A shell holding symbolic meaning and acting as a physical representation of the life he once held. The eyes are open, but with out depth. A reflection seeds the center of its pupal . . .


In the dead eyes, a reflection within a reflection, divine like the virgin but more like the black Madonna. A reflection now thrice fold of the remaining coyotes; they pass before the divine mirror. Each emanating anger within the hollow and glazed eyes.

I no longer have the strength or will to resist, so I close my eyes and wait for the rending of flesh.

It doesn’t come.

The only sounds are the sounds of circling; it’s defining to my mind. Stars shine high above. Weeping in a tree. Venus to the right.


Temperature set to a cool comfort. and a kiss is placed on my brow [eyes open]. Four coyotes circle; one for each direction. A stunning woman, naked as the sky stands in the path. Silence in the tree. The depleted blood has taken its tole; spinning but motionless and the sky sparkles.

I hold to conciseness with a childes grip. Above, the stars shake and a voice speaks from earthly eternity, “do not sleep”. Not the voice that cane to me one day, it’s not a whisper but a projection of clarity and a lively, living calling; the stunning reflection of a naked woman.

“Help me,” I ask. In her steps the coyotes follow gracefully in a sort of unholy innocence; different than the patient stalking of hunters; more of a dance in melodic step with the one he follows, but none in the lead.

I seem to be caught in a fog, or is it a dying vision.

“What woman can walk with the coyote,” I ask.

“Living?” With a kind smile.

“What’s your name?”

“Quiet . . . and rest.”

“What’s happening to me?”

“Shh . . . Sophia’s coming.”

“Sophia?” I mumble, “who.”

“She is merely Sophia,” The name is familiar.

“I don’t understand . . . “

“Yes, you do . . .”

[fade . . . ]


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